part 18 -

we begin again in space and time here now.
the clown typing not p0em that seems to interest no one. that's probably a good thing. he thinks so anyway. one less thing to worry about for everybody.
entity.
meathead.
düsseldorf.
mad at everything all the time.
a clue in the closet sweating with distaste and disagreeable perceptions of reality while listening to neptune sing its songs. ding dong, everything is dead. let's not waste our time with persistent emotional outbursts arising from the gut in a nutshell. let's be reasonable for once. let's be very clear.
the world evaporating before our eyes. soon it will no longer be here. spin the wheels one more time. it's just fine and dandy to be here again with a different disguise with a different role to play. all the sacrifices to be made as the houselights fade.
and we are on.
shall we sing and dance?
shall we fall down?
shall we laugh?
again?

let the others play the fools this time. we relax and observe while the clown types a report to the committee as not p0em secretly so no one knows. if anything survives. it will or it won't.
ugly dimples.
a limited format of display. not for public consumption. members only.
the logistics of pleasure and pain. the submission to sins. loaded dice determine the shape of things to come. stand by for further instructions.
eat it. it is it. bring up the rear. surrender to the joy.
a mad god laughing screaming alone in the void inside his head the clown lights another cigarette. one gets used to it. or not. one has the option of becoming mad oneself for one's own sense of sanity. la-dee-da-dee-dum, let's have some fun!

shift the meanings of the words if one needs to. it's allowed. whatever makes sense to you. kittie. something to think about. sweet sweat. no, keep away. the naked eye. plagiarism is contagious. crazy time music playing in the background the clown dreams a little bit more about worlds that never will be but to be imagined. an elegant trove of secret fantasies we desire and fear. what might happen if we dare? sing this song loud. make everyone hear its cry. tempting. frightening.
if we might remember everything we have lost along the way of our fortune. hoopie-doo. of course this implies there is some sort of solution. but for there to be a solution there must be a problem. what's the problem? there's always a problem. even solutions have problems. let's think about this. but there is no time. we need to just eliminate the problem. that's the simplest solution. that is our final answer. be gone!

it wasn't what we wanted. we were forced deciding otherwise by circumstances beyond our control, like our inner basic primal nature we all share among us. it doesn't matter what we are other than that. it shapes our destiny. but it's a beautiful sunny spring day.
the clown has chores to do today.
coffee, toke, cigarette.
funny how things happen other than how we plan and expect, unless that is what we plan and expect. it's in our head. there is nothing wrong with anything else. it must be us.
he takes out the trash. the painful wounds of the heart. the outcry continues. butchering the children. the chorus sings. all chaos breaks out much to the dismay of many who do not understand this is how it should be. one eye open one eye closed we stumble ever onward. the hanging trees. untouched pleasures. crazy. tinfoil motherfuckers in the depths of agony. faraway dreams of ice cream palaces melting under yellow crayon sun. the slaughter has begun. what else is new? he lights another cigarette after catching his breath.

reflections going haywire as we lose control. this is too much. overdone. out on the abandoned railroad tracks. dark emissions. talking outta turn on the radio for anyone who might be listening. when our history turns into mythology among those who are left to wander. the key element is surprise. to die with nothing left to live for. esoteric teen beat.
7@7

is this the way it's supposed to go? if it is how it is then it is the way it's supposed to be. what do we know different? a simple touch. synoptic regurgitation distortion popular interpretations derived from imagined possibilities. state muffins right there on the top. push the button. on fire. this is what has been reported. everything is false pretense undermining the very foundations of civilization.
is this a bad thing?
[ ]yes [ ]no [ ]couldn't care less
chipmunks for sale. mediocre revelations for the dumbfounded broadcast full alert. danger. look out for this stranger. what should we do next? come on, party down! but we are asleep. is this what we asked for? ordering chinese. what's happening now? pants down comedy turned tragically surreal. achtung!
the orchestra tunes up ready to hit it. backwards surgery undertaken by fat mice from the martian colonies where weird experiments take place. developing scum. locked in tight, no escape (club mix). never never never coming home. louder is better. what did you say? little beeps. we should know by now. don't think about that. disturbing news from the front forecloses the day.
gotta love everything. take it in. hate is thoughtcrime strictly enforced around these parts. you're not from here, are you? gotta be stoned to understand. it doesn't work any other way. sexual intellectual standing on thin ice of theoretical devices meant to confuse the issue involved in taking over the world. everybody's gotta a rap these days. scream it. shout it. make them understand everything's outta hand in this forgotten land.
the coffee's ready. toke, cigarette.
scars of love on the heart. soft bellied underlings come running at the ringing of a bell to begin their groveling for the day.
the clown sighs. all the people making living difficult for all the people. why must it be this way? the answer's obvious, but what is the key that unlocks the chains? is it love as many believe? how do we find love? the answers are like leaves blowing in the wind. chase them if you want. let us know when you've found the one we will all agree on. and not by force. that's been done and failed. force is only good for making $$$.

he is not so clever. not even for being an idiot. he knows his place though he has these dreams. someone who might listen to what he does not have to say. it happens in a moment then is gone. do we really need to talk so much? must it be so long and loud? where is the life of the mind? we know where the life of the party is. how could one miss it?
writing thoughtcrimes for future use. abandon your ego now. how?
all the same questions. all different answers. the world at war over economic gain and control. make them eat shit. cram it down their throats a shovelful at a time.
he perceives this world through a multitude of facets from one end of the varying continuums to the other. everything happening at once to someone. someone else.
more coffee.

it could be you. it is you. it's all of us alone together apart. another cigarette. the big bad dildo machine actively doing what it does. all the broken dreams laying on the concrete floor in puddles of burned out possibilities we see ourselves reflected.
reflections dancing the boogaloo to different beats in our heads. we rattle our chains. we feel so ashamed to be played the fools again.

and furthermore, imaginary lines dividing us encouraged by mass media manipulations until we believe they exist as it is desired by the ruling elite to protect their positions in power they enjoy. who wouldn't? not us.
we learn to love our masters - those revolutionary messiahs come to save the day - or off with our heads.
who are we to complain about our miserable lives when evidence can be and is shown of those far worse off than us? so shut the fuck up, would ya? haha.
and everyway works against us. we struggle among ourselves with no relief and for no reason except fictitious excuses of us vs them strategies we are indoctrinated with willing belief. bend over and salute the burning flags up on the hill.
it's a joke, but a very serious joke in fact that must not be acknowledged. it's hopeless to believe there is a way out. we are trapped by our very nature and nurture as a foundation to everything built upon it that keeps us down.
but one might ignore all that hoo-ha with minimal involvement while being in the midst of it. it's not always so easy as it seems but worth the effort, or lack thereof. everybody's the boss of you but if you mind your own business they go away. they've got asses to kiss and yours isn't one. this might very well be the joke, but probably not.

rock this goddamn motherfucker. rock it all to pieces. rock it all night long. just another night howling at the moon. we can live life to those rules but we'd rather not. rules are for people who don't know what they're doing. we know what we are doing and then some.
the clown thinks he's hip, but he's on a trip about to fall. he coughs and farts. how low does it go? down deep underground that has been abandoned now the mission's been accomplished. it's time to assume the position. it's time to take control.

slightly ill at ease. it begins in the gut. fix the gut and the body will follow. not quite knowing really what's going on. is everyone against him? the clown wonders to himself as there's no one else around to deny it. and that might probably be a lie to keep him in control. should he trust anyone? who are they really?