greetings, earthlings -
just as we would have it with our luck we inherit the earth.
teach us a lesson we will never forget. what fools we have been all this time along. we thought we could do as we please and that would be enough. listen to them laughing last, angels and demons alike.
this trap we become easily ensnared in at birth. what do we know? what are we to do utterly helpless and dependent?
11:11
and as we awaken we may may suspect some things amiss. but most evidence we might happen across supports it unless we might happen to be ones who look deeper through the layers of lies.
it's a game to the gods for their idle amusement.
and if we break away free, what then? salvation or damnation? who can tell the difference?
the clown's been though most of that and doesn't even wanna know nothing about how it supposedly makes sense to anybody.
but it kinda makes sense to him occasionally thinking sideways about it as he is wont to do in dreams dreaming reality of the best and worst of all possible worlds.
and people complain a lot. someone should do something about that. - guru jeff.
few have understanding of the usefulness of violence. break all the rules to impose our own. sounds good to us.
return everything to how it once was should be. who knows better than us? we are the crown of heaven.
what rules but no rules? no rules against anyone making rules by use of violence.
just like the good old days.
so it's true, we are mad mad mad in a world we design by what we are given by our nature. we will ever rise above? to be what? cruel gods?
damn hippies.
the sacrifices we make for their pleasures. ambrosia and nectar while we eat shit. what fools we are but given no choice in this world by all accounts.
these bleak avenues of thought we are allowed to wander in a maze with no exit but death looming over our lives of forced subjugation.
thrown into a bizarro world where all is backwards upside down sideways from whatever we might have expected. expectations deliver disappointments. hope for the best but while expecting the worst.
we are suckers for anything. billions come here to prey upon the billions. is it a joke?
nihilism for beginners.
our philosophies cut to ribbons, easily digestible for the masses who don't give a rat's ass. do what thou wilt is all they understand with their lowest common denominator simplism. everybody gets a prize!
zarathustra shaking his head.
the clown agrees to disagree. he laughs knowing he can and will always change his mind. but he chooses to observe awhile more as long as he is allowed to become himself toward understanding everything he is able.
he understands beginning is not beginning but continuing. the beginning of the universe is absurdity. our particular bubble of spacetime. is spacetime a common denominator? it does not exist in and of itself but only as objects composed of its fabric. it is a characteristic of objects like the color orange. everything is logically false. but everything has meaning - except gazorbnik.
being never beginning never ending continuing. is there such a state as being in and of itself? if there is nothing is nothing being? but it would seem true nothing is the absence of being, even of itself. this is difficult to imagine. let's not even try. let us declare nothing not possible. that'll fix it.
we cannot deal with infinity, so we make it finite to fit our rationalogic calculations.
we believe that is what everything is cuz that is everything we are able to comprehend.
yay! pizza's here!
he eats and then sleeps.
11:11
awakening.
driving to the diner, sitting at the counter, continuing not poem as if it is the first and the last. you'll go crazy thinking that shit.
if the object is not to think, the clown has failed. but he thinks himself into non-thought anyway. a blank. 0. everything goes away and quits bothering him. almost. not quite. a ribbon of thought remains flying in the celestial winds awhile all toward nowhere (now here).
but is non-thought the object as many proclaim it should be? perhaps for those wishing to become one with i am all must be stilled within. go for it if that is your desire.
he comes from that psychic desolation and has little desire to return to its madness. better the distractions of pretend illusions of this imaginary world in order to forget.
he goes out for a smoke.
philosophic merry-go-round thing reaching for that brass ring to continue our charade. stand until we fall. the clown sits before the computer and orders breakfast.
he can't get this shit outta his head but there are obstacles to it if one is trying to get somewhere with it - or without it. destinations are for losers. let it have its own destinations, we're just along for the ride, baby.
uneasy feeling to the day so far. it may come and go or hang on awhile.
we may each have free will but how many have free choice? lives in captivity. lives stolen by those who have great pride in their freedom over others, whose freedom is dependent on another's subjugation. listen to them crow.
the clown finds this funny and laughs though there is nothing funny about it. he has tried living life with no one beneath him. he has failed in this as well as everything else.
as he waits for it to be time to leave to get supplies he thinks more about our theory of everything. it is not a theory of what people ought to do but a theory by those who have nothing else better to do. let it be as it is. what else is it supposed to be?
and returning from getting supplies for the diner he orders a double mocha while the van is being unloaded. when the mocha and van are empty he drives home.
home to a house full sleeping sick people. he goes to the computer typing more not p0em.
the theory for today is... he's not sure. he'll have to think about it and find what it might turn into.
he thinks about what some speculate about a multiverse filled with other universes. first, he has doubts about it cuz it opens too easily into an infinite series of russian dolls. but maybe that doesn't really make a difference. whatever...
so, do these universes have the same or different physics? how different? he imagines spacetime exists within each and all. but that may be only cuz he is within a spacetime universe and is not able to imagine or comprehend any other.
how many other universes are there? what about them makes them different? could two be absolutely identical except for the momentary location of one particle? so there could be infinite universes.
but so what? we don't even come close enough understanding our universe never mind infinities of them. and is god god enough to personally oversee all aspects of each one all together at once? maybe. maybe we don't understand god at all. how do we disprove anything we don't know what it is?
god? how did god sneak back in? that weasel!
what about non-euclidean spacetime? trans-dimensional spacetime? what about whatever else spacetime?
what about everything including a multiverse and possibly more? and all universes included within each and every multiverse. infinity times infinity. without beginning, without end. and we include the russian doll effect to that and everything exploding toward an incomprehensible amount of infinities. infinity is not as simple as it may seem at first. neither is a god that keeps track of every particle of it all in every moment - if time is relevant among the varied universes. why should it be? maybe it is and isn't both. all possibilities. all configurations. all everything far too complicated for any comprehension - even the comprehension of god? if it is then god is not god.
god and not god are walking up the street. god suggests that they sit and rest a few moments. not god wishes to continue but abides sitting rolling a joint while god takes out a bottle of vodka.
a few moments become minutes become hours become an afternoon of stoned drunkenness fool and folly.
the next day's dawn they awaken and continue their journey to the thrift store now just blocks away but closed this early in the morning. so they proceed arm in arm to a 24hr diner to break their fast where the clown sitting at the counter typing not p0em oblivious.
another cigarette. his time is coming up fast. how long he has to last coherent in this body before being released to whatever is and/or is not the question.
the fat black cat plays with her catnip mouse. the clown's asshole itches and burns like crazy. has he gone too far? not far enough? toward what where when? is a return to godhead all that awaits us? is it unavoidable? what a drag.
can we be perfect enough? is the jewel of the lotus without flaw? how then can it be perfect?
unless we subscribe to the notion we are told that all is perfect but ourselves. we are the flaw.
and the clown cooks up some hash browns. yum!
more coffee, a toke, a cigarette.
he's done everything all wrong it would seem but how come he is more and/or less content after times beating his head against a wall to make it stop?
he doubts anything he might want to. then change his mind.
everything whirls and twirls and swirls happily around in his head outta his mind.
he does not climb to the mountaintop like a goat but tends a garden in the valley. enlightenment eludes him. he is far far too ignorant. he knows next to nothing yet understanding more than he knows. a moment here now is all the enlightenment he is able to imagine comprehending, if that.
in an instant it comes and goes with the next instant as enlightening as the preceding.
fuck the überpeople. let them fly fly away and leave us be.
we wander the ruins of their world seeking what little might be useful to sustain us. we die off by billions, many slaughtered in the name of justice - or for food.
so what?
who cares?
everything is what it is.
amen.