30 -

receiving signals from neptune through dangerous times the clown picks his nose and continuing sitting before the computer gazes out the window at a rainy morning feeling the blues as it should be in this world at this time typing out not p0em for the masses.
many gods claim to be the one immortal almighty god.
ah-choo.
they seem planning to duke it out whatever consequence to others.
über-apes beating chests and charging one another.
sigh... so silly from our context.
but the crowds love it.
watch them rape and pillage.
this the root of their theology mythology and such other-ologies.
crank it up, baby.
way up.

making up gazorbnik from out of a hat - maybe somebody else's hat.
nevermind.
it's all the same difference to us
the beat goes on so many levels.
dancing up and down stairs.
from heaven to hell between and beyond.
everything is experience whatever the fuck our fate might be from how we choose with our free will.
or not.

relax.
breathe.
pet the kitty.

he gazes outside seeing the van in the driveway that he can drive places when he wants to in interactive reality simulation whatnot.
disgusting but true.
give yourself up.
why should we have all the fun?
coffee.
he lights a toke and then a cigarette.
give ourselves up to who or what?
who's in charge here amid all the fussing and fighting?
no one?
we ourselves are the only authority we recognize.
but we are legion.
confusion reigns.
why should we give up unless we are forced to?
maybe we should just forget about it.
live life as life is lived and living.
we are amazed by everything.

0 is the center of the universe.
0 is the center of our heads.
infinitesimal pinpoint.
0 projects everything we experience.
- in theory.

our theory of everything.
grab bag nearly full to overflowing with whatever we might discover being.
contradictions and paradoxes galore.
that's what makes it most interesting and fun for our amusement.
who am us?
we are them who are i am.
???

it begins and/or ends anywhere anywhen as anything.
there is no beginning nor end.
how could there be?
there is all continuing.
there are beginnings and ends to things.
everything is not a thing.
not an object in space and time.
it is not even space and time.
it's just everything.
beyond all finite constructions of itself.
everything is the only infinity.
everything is everywhere everywhen and beyond even itself as itself is known to itself.
and all that cosmic trash that won't help you find a job.

it's all the clown dreams of being.
is he the only one?
he doubts that.
myriad reflections of consciousness within the maze of mirrors.
shattered light.
a disco ball of stars and such radiating to and from our being.
everything is consciousness.
everything is i am to itself.
as much as words might be able to express.

the journey of experiencing.
experiencing everything as much as our senses allow - as much as our imaginations might envision.
everything known to be.
people zeroing down to what exactly everything might be, zeroing down ultimately on nothing - 0.
what makes sense and what does not?
it's medication time.

a cigarette.
not the life of a saint or such.
not even a jack of all trades.
just a foolish clown babbling not p0em.
hahaha.
is the joke on him?

it seems everything is just that - everything.
all that is and all that is not, between and beyond.
a mad god laughing screaming alone in the void inside his head.
we can imagine this being.
but there seems to be a certain reality we all experience more or less the same yet having a zillion+ meanings to each of us.
he feels he understands.
perhaps not.
not even close, baby.
nowhere (now here).

meanwhile he sits on a beach of an island in the eye of a storm raging on an otherwise calm sea.
the sea is humanity.
on the island are the forest of dreams, the garden with the house by the gate, the imaginary city with the burning theater on easy street.
all constructed by ongoing imagination that sometimes goes far astray.
he watches waves rolling in and washing out the same and different depending upon how we might behold them.
what we give our attention to and what we do not.
let's argue about it.

he feels divinely mad.
he feels like an idiot.
both at the same time.
he has to unclog the toilet after his morning poop.
chop water, carry wood, and all that jazz.
but he spends his time dreaming.
he doesn't always know about what.
whatever.

a very rainy morning here now.
another toke.
he is as he is lazy bum as he is.
he never quite got with the collective program he observed others following.
but he does ok.
lands on his feet somehow.
he may not be worth much but at least he's not worth a ransom.

how much of this is familiar to others relative to their own experiences?
or not.