24 -

indestructible visions.
corrupt actuality.
drunk again.
it's so easy to fail and fall down and out here now with us.
life's not so easy on easy street, is it?
it's nothing to do with nothing.
it's not what it seems.

but whatever... sitting before the computer typing out not p0em for the masses about our theory of everything and such, he blows his nose.
it's medication time.
coffee and english muffin with peanut butter.
a cigarette.

a demon and an angel telling him what to do which he ignores as much as possible.
awake at the butt crack of dawn.
when all else fails spin the wheels one more time.
watch them go.
what will they bring us to this time around around?
the same indifferent world as last?
he doesn't mind.
he is just as indifferent toward it.
he observes its inhumanity toward itself.
he laughs though he is frightened.
how silly it is.
a funhouse ride.
ooo - scary.
pet the kitty.

more coffee, another cigarette.
what choice does he have?
what choice does he ever have?
all he is influenced by for good or evil intent.
he doesn't know which is what.
he does as little as he can get away with.
not let his karma act for him.
whatever that might do or not do if anything.
he has had little interest in this world remembering dreams of other worlds.
is he dreaming this one?
what does it mean?
is this a lesson to be learned or is it meaningless?
is he thinking about it too much? - not enough?
what does it matter?
enjoy the show.

he'll leave this world thinking, what the fuck was that?
and soon he may forget it altogether sending it back to oblivion from whence it came.
a minor glitch in the program.
he pities those of the world, rich and poor alike.
such misery they create and endure in the name of their gods.
nothing he can do about it but try not to add to it as much as he can get away with - and so on.

sex object nuclear warhead.
mr. jones raga in blue.
the abused.
the sick.
the starving.
the neglected.
who does this not include?
not us.
we are them.
sorta...
?

as a spaceship hovers nearby he continues on with not p0em.
it is dark now.
dark as night.
narcissistic attitude adjustments.
we will tell you what everything means.
you will believe it or not.
everything goes wrong at some point though what is right or wrong to everything?
everything is the gestalt of every thing.
or something like that.

an assemblage of order and chaos in conjunction with one another.
if it makes $$$ it makes sense, everything else is nonsense.
listening to devil music what the people wanna eat to the beat.
everything is crazy, baby.
we are crazy - ooo-haha.
another toke makes everything a-ok.
just what they want us to think and feel.
feeling is believing.
nasty.

everything a dream?
many believe it.
we shall see.
french horns playing some old time whack-a-doodle.
he sleeps.


___________

sitting at the counter at the diner scribbling out not p0em into a notebook between despair and glee neither he decides to have anything to do with but to aum in the middle of doubt awhile with matted hair on his head thinking back on the unproductive life he's lived quite with nothing that has survived to this day that he got away with but his life is not what material accomplishments he might create to glorify himself but only what's in his head as he gets up to get a lemon lime sida from the fountain bringing it back continuing with not p0em which is sorta supposed to be about our theory of everything and such but that all goes out the window at times we cannot determine what to agree on or what with the theory itself in a quandary of contradictions with little if anything holding it together as seems to be a model of the realities we perceive blinking in our delightful confusion while everything does its tricks like puzzles we need to unpuzzle for our entertainment in an eternal moment appearing here now is all we can state about it (it is it) until we continue venturing forth into the unknown which seems is what our minds are designed to do unless we hold onto dogmas of every ilk in trepidation hesitating on the brink of discovery.
the dogma of gazorbnik experienced by use of meta-schizophrenic science* extending forever all inclusive of everything real and imagined if there is a difference between them which there may or may not be depending on what we choose to believe at any given moment through non-linear propulsion** leading us onward zigzag crooked pathless paths.

*Meta-schizophrenic - meta: occurring later than or in succession to; situated behind or beyond; later or more highly organized or specialized form of; change; transformation; more comprehensive; transcending; used with the name of a discipline to designate a new but related discipline designed to deal critically with the original one.
 - schizophrenic: a psychotic disorder characterized by loss of contact with the environment and by disintegration of personality expressed as disorder of feeling, thought, and conduct.

Science - the state of knowing; knowledge as distinguished from ignorance or misunderstanding; knowledge attained through study or practice; a department of systematized knowledge as an object of study; something that may be studied or learned like systematized knowledge.

** Non-linear - non: not; reverse of; absence of; lacking the usual characteristics of the thing specified.
-linear: of, relating to, or resembling a line; involving a single dimension; of, relating to, or based on linear equations or linear functions.
Propulsion - the action or process of propelling; something that propels. propel: to drive forward or onward by means of a force that imparts motion; to urge on.

then he decides to think of something else different.
he is stumped.
what actually is different than anything else when their differences are similar familiar to us if we think about it or decide not to for whatever reason we may believe otherwise screwed into our heads by the social machines driven by nature and nurture?
sipping a hot triple shot mocha wondering about whatnot about everything drifting through his mind sorta seeming sideways at times.
but what does he know?
not much as has been previously stated along the way of everything twisting turning at once and for all wave our flags burning up on the hill for all to see and bend over and salute as is fit and proper so to do.

gazorbnik just about sums it up save for a few loose threads which according to some theories the wise guys make up are the roots of the known universe.
maybe so.
again, what does he know?
he knows to get by being a lazy good-for-nothing bum while others rush around creating sustaining destroying the world as it should be as it is.
the ongoing process of transformation.
the grind grinds us down until we drop dead forgotten and forgetting.
perhaps there should be more but there is not, not that we know about but many theories abound around true or false there is only one way of knowing - die.
scribbling onward toward an absolute vague point of meaninglessness which need not concern us much unless we are the worrying sort upset by the absurd as many seem to be clinging to some sort of belief or another as it seems to suit us as we will it to become which maybe it does and maybe it does not as it suits itself.

the crazies are out and about with some coming into the diner which is ok as long as they more or less behave, don't spend too long in the bathrooms, and pay.
just like real life, baby.
whoever thought that up?
the idiots.
no free lunch except for those who can weasel it for themselves if they can.
there are many ways that can be devised.
work?
who needs that shit?

what a world where you gotta beg, borrow, and steal in some form or another to survive and perhaps enjoy it somewhat if we can.
the world works against us.
the earth works for us but it has been enslaved by the greedy taken for all it's worth and more until now it's dying perhaps at the point of no return.
but the earth as damaged and crippled as it is will survive us as we die off to heal itself once we're gone with our destructive nature.
it a dream turned nightmare by our own actions as we do not know to leave enough alone for our own good.
but fuck that.
there is always more even if we need to go to other planets to get it.
we have ignition... we have liftoff... go go go...

back from getting supplies sitting at the counter ordering fries.
not pies.
the universe of light - whatever that might be.
we know some of the rules it seems to behave like but not necessarily its nature.
we know where it goes but not what it is.

he packs up his shit and comes home to nap awhile.
___________